pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
