You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
