Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
