All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
