community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
