Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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