Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
