Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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