i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
