in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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