You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
