wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
