I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
