Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
