no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
They have beer where we have blood.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
