I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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