He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
