YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
