Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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