Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
