Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
