I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
