If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
