This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
