This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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