Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
