if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
