it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
