you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
