I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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