we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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