I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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