the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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