just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
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I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
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Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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