Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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