Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
