I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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