i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
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