their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize