We won't sleep together?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
