This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
