My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
