Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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