Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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