I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
