and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
