I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
