I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
