that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize