i will never coherently bang her
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
