the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
