Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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