I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize