Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
