I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
