Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
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