i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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