Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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