Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Everclear isn't food dammit
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
